Happy Ghost and Goblin day

Happy Hallowe'en.
BOO!

Not a whole lot has happened since my last update

Lilybelle's last pleading email was to do everything that she wanted to do this weekend, and none of that included spending time with her father. In response to that Jonquil replied with the following:

I understand wanting to be with your friends but you have spent plenty of time with them, and no time with family. My answer is still the same. Pick one or the other, but not both.

Lilybelle starts to get a little snarky here and launches into debate mode. Lilybelle's favorite tactic is to debate you to death so that you will give in and let her do whatever it is that she wants to do.

1. i dont spend plenty of time with them

2.its halloween, what is the big deal? not like you would go out trick-or-treating with me.. i would be with them for that anyways but then i can stay out later if i was sleeping over at her place. because the guys are coming out for us to hang out with them for the day and leaving later at night when were done.

3. if im out for the night and dont sleep over at [friend]'s then i guess ill be at your place later in the night when were done and the guys leave for the saturday.

4. on the friday, i might be sleeping over at [friend]'s house or [friend]'s dads house in [othertown] so we dont have to go very far then we just leave for [ourtown] with the guys for halloween. Ok?

--Lilybelle

I am not sure where she gets the idea that she would be able to stay out later. Jonquil very likely would have let her stay out as long as she wanted and picked her up when she was through. And of course he wasn't going trick or treating with her, Lilybelle is 14 years old, she hardly wants or needs her father to come with her.

Jonquil replied. I am quite proud of how he shuts this one down.

Pick one or the other. I am not going to debate the issue. If you can't pick one or the other, then the choice will be neither.

Of course, it was a fairly easy email to send because he was fairly sure that Lilybelle would just say that she was staying with her mom no matter what Jonquil said.

oka then. on frriday im staying with friend instead of at your placece and then saturday i guess i will be with you until later then me and friend and otherfriend are going out for ahlloween.. if not then i can stay at mos if it is going to be really a big issue for me to be with friends for a holiday.

--Lilybelle

Holiday? It is Hallowe'en, not Christmas.

There were a couple more emails passed back and forth as Jonquil attempts to extract information from Lilybelle like the address and telephone number of where she will be spending the night.

Lilybelle also has volunteering on Sunday, something I don't think she bothered to take into account when she was trying to make her plans.

End result - Lilybelle stayed at her friend's house on Friday night and is here with us tonight because she decided not to go out trick or treating. She is currently in her room, pissed off because Marigold "touched her stuff".

What amazes me about this whole exchange is that Narcissus did not get involved. It is amazing and creepy. She has been so quiet. There were some emails from Narcissus that started at the tail end of the emails with Lilybelle, but they had nothing to do with the weekend.

Jonquil,

On Wednesday at 11am I received a call from Marigold saying that two spots had opened up to see the Symphony due to kids being ill. She asked if she could go. The cost was $15. You at that time are unavailable for consultation and it was last minute. She had to know right then whether she could go. I said yes in the hopes that you'd be reasonable to the situation. Then after I made her a lunch yesterday morning, she informed me that they were to buy lunch. That just cost me $10. Total of $25 for that trip.

Lilybelle as a mandetory trip for [visual arts program] is going to the Art Gallery next Friday. Cost is $20 and the money is due today. I got the form this morning at 6:45 am.

Marigold has a trip next week and handed me a form this morning also. Concert tour of no charge to go but they have to buy lunch.

Lilybelle has a camp coming up for Pathfinders that's $50, money due next week. Plus the [Castle trip] of another $20 or $25 in January. Dont' know when the money is due.

So I sincerely hope when you read over this and you know your children and what they are like that you will see that A) things come up last minute that email to go back and forth is impossible and B) that $50 for both school and guiding a month isn't covering it either. Let me know how you are going to compensate and please talk to the girls about the procedures and I'm tired of getting the brunt of it. It's your responsibility too to tell them of "new arrangements" and that things like this last minute shit have to stop. Obviously Marigold's was very last minute and couldn't be helped. But the rest can. Please be reasonable and fair not only to me but to them.

Narcissus

HA! She is one to talk about fair.

Let's add this up shall we?

$15 for Marigold's symphony trip
$10 for her lunch which I am not including, and there will be $10 needed while she is with us this week.
$20 for Lilybelle's trip to the art gallery.

That is $35 put out by Narcissus this month for "extras"
Another $50 due this coming week, which is now into November. And $25 due at some later date.

Total over a minimum of two months is $95. Half of that would be Jonquil's responsibility. But $50 a month isn't enough? $120 wasn't enough either. Nothing will ever be enough.

No school trips are mandatory, but she could at least learn how to spell it.

So he responded:

I will pay for half of Marigold's trip to Symphony once I have been provided with a copy of the permission form. As she is with me next week, I will provide lunch money for the concert tour instead of reimbursing you money for her lunch on the symphony trip.

You currently receive full child support in the table amount for Lilybelle, plus a large sum extra, and the tables take into account school trips and extra curricular activities and so that extra more than covers my portion of her trips.

Permission forms are handed out well in advance of their due date leaving plenty of time to discuss costs.

And se didn't like it:

The permission form was already submitted to [school]. She called me Wednesday morning. The trip was yesterday (thursday). As for Lilybelle she was away when the permission form was sent out. She received it yesterday. The form due today for the trip tomorrow.

Even though you pay child support for Lilybelle which takes into account SOME of these trips it does not cover ALL of them. Not even close as far as what's in front of me now between school and Pathfinders. WHEN exactly Jonquil do you stop using that as a crutch for your financial obligations? I have [teacher] from the music dept and [other teacher] both preparing a list of all trips, funds etc needed for the remainder of the year. Lilbelle's Pathfinder leader has done the same. Hopefully that clears a few things up for you. And then hopefully you can enter the reality the rest of us live in. This is getting more and more pathetic Jonquil.

Ask Marigold if it was $15 and that I gave her lunch money since you dont' believe me. Or call [school] yourself.

Here is the thing. No receipt, no reimbursement. All she has to do is photocopy it. I wonder when she will enter the reality that the rest of the world lives in. You know, the one where she doesn't get to drive us financially underground while she lives the good life. I am sick to death of going without for myself, Jonquil, my children and my home so that Narcissus (not the girls, Narcissus) can live in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed.

That is all I have. Like I said, pretty quiet.

However, I went to the doctor this past week. I have been suffering in some pain for a while, turns out I have an ulcer. Great.

Doctor tells me that in addition to the medication she has put me on, for at least 3-4 weeks I am allowed to have no coffee, no tea, no pop, no caffeine, no smoking, no alcohol, "absolutely no chocolate" my doctor says, no mint, limit citrus, limit tomato products. I am sure I am missing something there.

It just sucks.

Survey Says . . .

Jonquil decided to do exactly you suggested (and likely without even seeing your suggestions, because I don't think he reads my blog - at least not regularly).

I wanted to stay out of it but Jonquil asked my opinion and I told him it has been 8 weeks since Lilybelle has spent any real amount of time with him and the last time she did her friend slept over all weekend. I told him I wasn't keen on the friend sleeping over, given that the last time Lilybelle had a friend over we got an email from Narcissus about how they were going to get the friend to swear an affidavit about how rotten I was. I also told Jonquil that Lilybelle wants a ride home from the commuter train station and he has been working on some Saturdays and he is aware that I will not pick her up.

Yesterday afternoon, before Jonquil had a chance to email Lilybelle she called him. He said he hadn't checked his email yet, she claims to have sent it "a couple of days ago". The day before people, the day before. He said he would check it when he got home.

Jonquil decided that she will have to pick one or the other, and emailed her to tell her so.

You can pick one or the other, but not both. As of that weekend it will have been 8 weeks since you've spent time with me, and I miss you.

So, you can either go out to [othertown] on Friday evening and then have [friend] sleep over, or you can sleep over at [Friend]'s Saturday night (as long as "the guys" are not sleeping over as well).

She wrote him back a half an hour later:

I get that u miss me, i miss you too, but i also wanna be with my friends, we have been planning things like this for a while and this was the only thing that could work out, i know it falls on your weekend, but other then that or we may not be able to do things for a bit. can i please do both? :/

--Lilybelle

Please, let me remind you of her 17 phone calls to me last Friday because she wanted to go to [othertown] and go out with her friends. She was just there. I get it. She is 14 and it is all about her friends, but if she were with us during the week as she is supposed to be and spending that time with her dad, her making weekend plans every weekend wouldn't be an issue.

My guess, Narcissus has plans this weekend and is making Lilybelle come to our house. Lilybelle will either decide, with her mother's permission, to spend the entire weekend with her friends as she in late September, or she will come to our house and be a prick of misery all weekend.

Good times.
I don't know if Jonquil will follow through with his decision. I sure hope so.

What say you?

Jonquil got an email from Lilybelle yesterday evening:

Hey dad,

So I figured out what is 99% chance going on for the next Halloween weekend and I was wondering if [friend] could sleep over on the Friday because we dont really wanna go to the halloween dance so we were planning on going out there, but we would just need a time to get home probably from [commuter train] station cuz I wouldnt ask for you to pick us up.. too far, train station is closer..

Then for the Saturday night for Halloween, The guys are going out here and she was wondering if i could go over there for a sleep over.

If this is Okay, PLEASE E-Mail or Call me back on this.. we have been trying to figure things out and now we have a plan.. i know it is in advance, but we wanted to know if we could.

--Lilybelle

So what she is asking is if next weekend, when she is supposed to be at our house, she can go to [othertown] with her friend and then take the commuter train back and have someone pick her up from the commuter train station, have friend sleep over and then her friends from [othertown] are coming to [our town] on Saturday and she wants to stay at her friend's house.

By next weekend it will have been eight weeks since Lilybelle spent the weekend at our house, and the last time she was there she had a different friend sleep over for the entire weekend.

When exactly is she planning to spend the time with her father that she claims to so badly want?

Jonquil has been working on occasional Saturdays, and if working that Saturday he would not be able to pick her up from the commuter train station.

He hasn't answered yet. I have my own opinions on this, but what you think?

I forgot to mention

Dr. Alienation told Lilybelle that advance notice of these kinds of activities (like the date thing she wanted to go on Friday evening) is considered common courtesy and that with advance notice, most things are possible.

After leaving counseling Lilybelle reminded Jonquil of that and said that she wants to go to [other town] to hang out with her friends on her birthday, which is a school night. Jonquil reminded her that she is not with us during the week and she said "Maybe I will be with you that day" and Jonquil said no. Lilybelle said that her mom would probably say no and "I thought your door was always open" and Jonquil told her not like that, and that he too would probably say no because it is a school night.

Lilybelle has decided that she wants to get her hair cut at the same salon Marigold went to and asked Jonquil if he would pay for half of it. He said no, we have no money in our budget for that, we paid for all of Marigold's haircut and he wasn't agreeing to any other expenditures until mediation was over.

No doubt Narcissus told Lilybelle to ask for half of the cost of the haircut. Quite nervy when Narcissus flat out refused to pay for Marigold's haircut.

Another Counseling and Mediation Update

Dr. Alienation called me on Monday afternoon. She said she wants to set up an appointment with Narcissus so I gave her Narcissus' contact information.

We talked for a few minutes about who she wanted in session with her this week. Her hope was for Jonquil, Lilybelle, Marigold and myself. I explained that Marigold has a big music night next week and was concerned that if she missed band practice she would not be allowed to participate in the music night. Dr. Alienation said she didn't want there to be any negative feelings about the session prior to coming in so we would wait on having Marigold in session. That left Jonquil, Lilybelle and myself. Lilybelle has apparently contacted Dr. Alienation directly about when the sessions may be and Dr. Alienation said she would contact Lilybelle to let her know when the session would be and who would be included.

Monday night Jonquil toddled off to mediation . . .again. He and Narcissus will be going back one more time next Monday. Not much was accomplished in this session. According to Mediator, Narcissus has conceded that she will not be getting money for transportation. There was some argument about how child support is calculated and Narcissus doesn't like the way it is figured out. Well, TFB – that is the way it is done. Narcissus came up with some convoluted way of calculating child support which, of course, left her with the same amount of money that Jonquil is paying now. Jonquil said no and Narcissus is apparently off to see a lawyer this week to get legal advice on how the figures are calculated. We have already spoken to a lawyer about this so her response next week should be interesting at the very least.

The Mediator was pressing Jonquil for more money and Jonquil told her that we have no disposable income. He told Mediator that we are struggling to pay the $1,000 counseling bill, household bills and rent and that all his t-shirts have holes in them and the pair of jeans he was wearing were the only ones without holes, that all of the underwires in my bras are poking out and we can not afford to buy new ones. Narcissus is crying poor but she just spent $385 on a pair of eyeglasses for herself and she has no benefits. Narcissus claims that $50 per child for a clothing allowance is not enough and that Lilybelle is suffering. Excuse me? I make a good, good wage and work in an office and I don't spend $50 a month on clothes. Lilybelle spent her entire clothing allowance on two t-shirts one month. Cry me a river! Marigold has made no complaints about her clothing allowance and Rosebud is now on the same clothing allowance and has no complaints. It is $600 a year. If the kids can't clothe themselves for $600 a year then they are all old enough to get jobs and pay for rest of it themselves.

I am tired of doing without so that Lilybelle, who won't even see us, can be kept in the "lifestyle to which she is accustomed". Bullshit! She is a child. I am sitting at my desk all day poking my underwire back down. What about my lifestyle? What about Jonquil's lifestyle? Perhaps if we are naked and can't go to work that would make everyone happy. Yeah . . . I am feeling a little cranky today.

Two additional things were brought up in mediation. One was that Lilybelle wants to spend one-on-one time with Jonquil. Jonquil refused to discuss this with Mediator and told her it was an issue that was being dealt with in counseling so he wasn't going to deal with it in mediation. The second issue was the Friday phone calls and that Lilybelle felt "ignored".

While Jonquil was at Mediation, Dr. Alienation called again. She did speak to Narcissus who, she said, was coming to a session the following week. Dr. Alienation had also emailed Lilybelle who apparently seemed "anxious" about having me in session so Dr. Alienation requested that I do not come, that only Jonquil and Lilybelle attend. Her reasoning for this was that after reading through all the correspondence we sent to her, Dr. Alienation feels that Narcissus appears to get very angry when she feels that Jonquil and I, together or individually, are in any way threatening her relationship with Lilybelle. Dr. Alienation feared that my presence in session this time would cause further problems and then Narcissus would not come to her appointment on Tuesday. I agree, but I don't think it will make much difference in the long run. I also expressed concern to Dr. Alienation that if Narcissus doesn't feel that Dr. Alienation is 100% on her side and 100% against Jonquil, that Jonquil and I are the problem and all is right with Narcissus and Lilybelle, then Narcissus will turn on Dr. Alienation and Lilybelle will never return to another session. Dr. Alienation said she is aware of that.

During session yesterday, the entire focus appeared to be on the events of Friday. Jonquil brought it up and Dr. Alienation stuck on it for most of the hour. Dr. Alienation attempted to get Lilybelle to understand that relationships are work, and in order for her to have a relationship with her father she has to spend time with him. Lilybelle's response is that she does want to spend time with "her dad".

This whole thing is starting to bother me a lot more than before. Lilybelle (and Narcissus)'s attempts to get Jonquil alone with Lilybelle are only setting up more problems. What is Jonquil supposed to do? Take Lilybelle out for dinner once a week? We can't afford that, and even if we could when would he take her? Mondays are pathfinders, Tuesdays are guides, Wednesdays are chiropractor, Thursdays Lilybelle works for her mom, Fridays Lilybelle wants to go out with friends, Saturdays and Sundays too. So please, tell me when? Aside from that, allowing Lilybelle to control the contact and isolate herself further from our home and our family is a bad idea.

I have Lilybelle's password for her email so I had a peek to see exactly what Lilybelle said that made her seem anxious to Dr. Alienation. I will post the exchange, it isn't long. I am going back to last week and posting Lilybelle's first email to Dr. Alienation in addition to the ones from Monday. Read them carefully:

Hi Dr A.,

I was wondering if you could fill me in on dates for counciling considering I'm very confused about time and dates. There is much going on with school and extra curriculars so i am trying to figure out the times for the next week or 2. If you could possibly e mail or phone some dates to this e mail or [phone number], that would be great. Thanks (:

--Lilybelle Lastname

From Dr. Alienation:

Hi Lilybelle,

Nice to hear from you. I’m sorry about the confusion. We won’t be meeting today. I’m giving some thought to how to proceed next I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve figured it out. Stay well.

Dr .A

Lilybelle:

Okay, Thanks a lot Dr. A (:

When you have figured it out, is it possible to e mail me the time and date for me to arrange things? If not, I can get it from my dad but it is harder when I don't have a phone to text with.. But if you can get the dates later on and send me them if you have time, that would be great.

Thanks again (:

--Lilybelle

Dr. Alienation sends an email Monday to let Lilybelle know about this week's session:

Hi Lilybelle,

I’ve given a lot of thought to how I would like to proceed. Can you please let me know if you can come tomorrow at [time] with your Dad and Ambrosia?

Many thanks,

Dr. A

And this is where Lilybelle is apparently anxious. Jonquil read it and immediately said "Lilybelle didn't write that". Let me know what you think:

Hey Dr.A

Tomorrow is good for me i guess. No guides for the night, so perfect. Would you like to inform me of anything going on with the step mother tomorrow? Only if possible of course..
Thanks
--Lilybelle

I will go back to that message in a minute, Dr. Alienation responds:

Hi Lilybelle, Glad you can make it. I have absolutely no agenda. I just wanted an opportunity to address any issues, with my help. See you then. Dr. A

And Lilybelle's last response:

Dr A.;

Okay then, thanks for getting back to me, hopefully they will both do some talking considering i usually talk and my dad sometimes says less.. but still. hopefully any issues can be said and I will see you tomorrow (:

--Lilybelle

Notice the wording in the one email, the tone, the language . . . it is all different. Maybe we are wrong and Lilybelle did write it, or maybe Narcissus was fishing for information. Who knows. But notice that I no longer have a name. I am not Ambrosia, I am just "the step mother".

That is a very common way of wording things for a severely alienated child, so whether Narcissus wrote the email or Lilybelle did, they didn't do themselves any favours.

Consequences

I started this last week but never had time to finish my post, so here goes.

It has been very quiet since the last Narcissus outburst. The girls did come for Thanksgiving dinner. In spite or Narcissus' claims that Lilybelle would only come if dinner was at Grandma's house, Lilybelle was in our home from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. when we headed over to see Grandma. Lilybelle was showing me pictures of how she wants to do her hair and asking if I liked it. Really?! I thought she hated me, so why would she care about my opinion?

There was no major drama on Thanksgiving day except that I had a little freak out. Every time I said anything or did anything I was constantly worried about how it would make it back to Narcissus, be played up into something else and then spit back out into a drama llama party. The stress of that eventually got to me and I snapped at my niece (who has not been told most of what is going on, she is 18). I took a time out and calmed down and apologized to my niece. I explained to her some of what was going on and that I wasn't really mad at her. Of course, my snap took place in the presence of Lilybelle so I have no doubt that her mother heard all about it. Surprisingly, we have heard nothing from Narcissus. I am shocked.

Our counselling appointment last Tuesday was cancelled by Dr. Alienation. She wanted to consult someone on the file and read over all the correspondence I had sent to her. We are still not sure who she wants in session with her tomorrow. Lilybelle is not happy about the Tuesday appointments, but there is nothing we can do about that.

My birthday was last week. I fully expected drama. Last year Boyfriend2 moved out on my birthday and Narcissus called crying, wanting the children to come home because "I need them with me". The police were called on our anniversary and she tried to start drama for Thanksgiving. We had silence. A very funny and cute message from Marigold, but other than that I was free to enjoy my birthday with no drama. I even got flowers . . . from three people! One boss, one friend and my husband. WOW! I feel special. I managed to knock over the vase on my desk and get water everywhere so I will guess there will be no flowers for me next year ;)

The girls are supposed to come back to our house Friday night. Lilybelle has not been with us the past two times, so aside from my brother-in-law's wedding and Thanksgiving, we have not seen Lilybelle in 6 weeks. I really didn't expect that she would come this past weekend either but I think Narcissus was planning on going away.

I leave the house at 7 a.m. Friday morning I hit sleep too many times so I was running well behind. At 6:59 my phone started to ring. Lilybelle called me 17 times in under 20 minutes. As soon as the phone would stop ringing she would call right back. She did leave a message, but I couldn't get to it until she stopped trying to call me. I could have answered the phone, of course I could, but given the way things have been going with Lilybelle speaking to her without a witness present is probably not a great idea, and I was rushing to get out of the house. I do not answer my phone in the mornings unless it is a call from my train mate; everyone else has to wait until I am on the train before I will answer the phone.

Lilybelle left the following message;

Hi Ambrosia, it's Lilybelle. Um . . . see, I tried to call my dad from like 20 after 6 until now and he decided to turn off his phone before I could get to him. Um, according to some of these newer arrangements I have to get permission from either you or him to do anything so I was wondering if I could actually go with my friends today for sort of a date thing. But . . . yeah. Can you maybe either . . . I know it is going to be awful for you, but call back to my mom [phone number], and tell her that I am allowed to go because I will be at school. Or you could even call the school, leave me a message considering I do not have my phone back. She only gave it back to me to make this one phone call. Thanks. Bye.

Lilybelle tried calling Jonquil at 6:20 and then continued to call him until the battery on his phone died and it turned off. Then she switched to me.

Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this and would have told the child that she either could or could not go. However, Lilybelle has made a decision that she does not want me to be a part of her life, to have any say or control over what she does and has threatened me with a peace bond. Not a chance in hell I am getting stuck in the middle of a situation that was a set up for failure. I can't be Lilybelle's step mom when it is convenient for her and the evil step monster from hell the rest of the time. Life doesn't work that way. She made a decision and one of the consequences of that decision is that she has cut me out of her life; those are consequences that she must live with.

On the one hand, I didn't think she should really be allowed to go anyway (which is likely what I would have told her if I had answered the phone). She hasn't seen her father for any real visit in six weeks, she should be spending time with her father and not out on a date. If she were at our house half the time as she is supposed to be, or even every other weekend spending any sort of time with her father, then these things wouldn't be a problem. But she hasn't been, so a problem they are. Lilybelle complains that Jonquil doesn't spend enough time with her but then she doesn't make any attempt to spend any time with him. Telling her she couldn't go would surely mean she would "decide" not to come to our home for the weekend and Jonquil and I would be evil, awful parents who wouldn't let her be a regular 14 year old girl and hang out with her friends.

On the other hand, if Jonquil let her go we would surely hear about it from Narcissus in one of her infamous "she is avoiding spending time with you" emails. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The end result was that I did not return the telephone call or get in contact with Lilybelle in any other way and Jonquil was unable to even pick up his telephone messages because his phone was dead. When we showed up to pick the girls up on Friday evening, only Marigold was home. We did not hear anything from Lilybelle or Narcissus to say that Lilybelle was not coming.

That is it. The quiet should come to a shuddering, violent halt soon. Narcissus and Jonquil have mediation again this evening.

And now for something different

A post that has nothing to do with Narcissus.

I have been at my workplace for 5 years and we get service awards. Our service awards are provided by Tiffany & Co. (yeah, no kidding, it is pretty cool). The letter says that we can select something from the small selection in the brochure they give us or we can pick something off the site. I found out today what the limit was if we wanted to pick something else so I went on the site and poked around a bit to see what else was in, or just above, the limit and then got even more creative with the numbers.

I found some pretty interesting stuff. In the "who the hell would buy that?" category . . .

$365 key chains. No, I am not kidding! I lose my keys, and when I do I cry. If I lost a $365 key chain AND my keys there would be a lot of tears. There were only a couple in this price range but many, many in the $200 range. It is going to get all scratched and dinged . . . why would someone want a key chain that costs more than the bloody lock in the front door?

A $235 money clip. Ok, I guess I get this . . . sort of. It just throws me because I very rarely have $235 in my pocket to put in a money clip, never mind that much to spend on a money clip.

One sterling silver luggage tag. $235. My bloody luggage didn't cost that much!

A piggy bank - well no it is a fire truck. $1,850. One thousand, eight hundred and fifty dollars. HOLY SHIT. There is an airplane too that is $2400. Would the bank even hold that much money? That is insane. The bunny bank is really cute, and slightly cheaper. You would need to save a lot of change to buy one of these.

A stamp box for $270. For that price, it should write the letter and lick the stamp for me too. They should bundle it as a set with the $355 pen.

A $415 shoe horn . . . It doesn't come with shoes.

A $425 paper weight, I guess to hold down those letters you wrote with the $355 pen.

A $480 sterling silver swiss army knife. What the hell does anyone need with a silver swiss army knife? Just in case you want to stab a werewolf?

it was a really tough decision, how often does a girl get told to go shopping at Tiffany's? I should have gotten a silver swiss army knife, it might be the only way to kill the evil ;)