This is a watered down version of what I should be saying, but those concerned will know what I am talking about.
When I first started my blog, the purpose was to vent and gain outside perspective on what we are living through. I had intended my blog to be and to remain anonymous and I thought that by removing identifying factors in my posts that I would be able to keep all parties concerned anonymous. Blogging also helped to cement ideas and memories in my own mind and to be able to retrieve them, if needed, at a later date. I found it very therapeutic, but perhaps not for the right reasons.
I made a gross error in judgment. Upon reflection, likely more than once. By posting emails and information from our own court documents I may have compromised anonymity. I am deeply sorry for any problems or difficulties this may cause for Jonquil or anyone else involved. It was never my intention, but that doesn't mitigate the damage. The responsibility for this breach, real or potential, lays only with me.
When I first started blogging I thought it would be more helpful than it was. Lately, I have found that it only increases my anger and frustration as I rehash the latest drama. Not so good for the soul. I assumed that neither Narcissus nor the children would find this blog (and I believe that they have not) and I didn't see the bigger picture. There are other people to be considered. I meant no one any harm as I vented, not even Narcissus. But meaning no harm does not always related to doing no harm. I hope that I did no harm but only time will tell.
I continue to be angry about the turmoil we find our lives in and I continue to fear for the future of my marriage. I am angry and I feel that I have good cause to be, but I need to turn my efforts to protecting my family, my children and my stepchildren.
It is for these reasons that I have decided to remove the contents of my blog. I thank you all for reading and for the support and encouragement your comments have offered to me. What our family is going through has not been easy on us as individuals, on my marriage or on the family unit as a whole. We will continue to do what we need to do to heal our family and hopefully make it whole again.
The views I have expressed in my blog posts are my own, and no one else should be held accountable. It is my sincere hope that it remains that way.
As you move forward in your own blogging, please keep this post in mind. Although we assume that if there are no names our posts remain anonymous, that is clearly not the case. You, like me, may end up hurting other people. Please be careful what you post and consider how those posts will affect others involved. Clearly, I lost sight of that.
Perhaps when it is all over I will make a post to let you know the outcome. I have not yet decided if I will continue to blog in any way, but if I do, it will not be about ongoing court issues - maybe I will just tell you about my first flat tire.
Until then, I will continue to read your blogs and I hope you will keep my family in your thoughts.
Monday, November 30, 2009
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